gaming life – Game Praisers

The Importance of the Gaming Blog

May 2, 2023 Dryad4 Comments

Emotional Motion

I’m not talking about my gaming blog. In fact, I feel that out of all the blogs I can think of, mine is one of the least relatable. I avoid spoilers like the plague, even if it’s within the first 30 minutes of the game. I always jump in blind. I even avoid talking about them, and yet here I am trying to talk about games. I have a ton of seemingly arbitrary rules about how I approach media, making it near impossible for me to talk with other gamers in a manner that isn’t bothersome.

So this is not about my blog. This is about all the gaming blogs I encounter. I’ve read so many good ones. Why are gaming blogs so important? What if they aren’t articulated well? What if they don’t know any of the technical game design elements? What if they just play games?

What if they just play games?

Games are a very personal thing. They’re like eating food. We are considered “consumers” after all. It’s like reading a book or watching a movie. It’s like seeing a beautiful vista, and having your own opinion and experience. Games are an emotional experience. And what better way to learn about emotional experience than from emotional people?

All it takes for someone to be able to be a writer of video games, in the most non-objective sense, is to play games; they just need to have the experience. I’m not looking for the top critics’ blogs. I’m not looking for someone who has directed and designed two triple AAA games. I’m looking for Frostilyte Writes, who recently wrote about their perspective for capturing audiences of all sides in the fighting genre for Street Fighter VI. It’s a very good and informative piece. You should read it. Why are people like this important? Because one line sticks out to me from their article.

“I’m not who Capcom needs to convince.“

Games are a part of the investments and feelings that we have experienced as people. Frostilyte has this unique perspective of saying “the people you actually need to convince are people that aren’t already pilled. The people who will buy a fighting game, and never play it online.” That’s me. I’m the person who never plays it online! But this isn’t coming from someone who plays for the casual game. They play for the PvP. Someone who plays for the PvP talking about why the PvE matters. That’s a take I want to find. That is someone’s experience of having played other games in a non-objective way talking about what they think. This is what I’m looking for.

I want to know why they feel nostalgic about certain elements. I want to know what makes other people excited. Is it a technical thing? Are they excited for a character? What is it that drives them to be playing games? Because I’m just one person. And I want to know. I don’t just want to know why things are liked or disliked. I want to know what led them to that. I want to know what and how the people think.

There’s nothing wrong with objective approaches to video games, but they’re are plenty of those. It’s like a scientific paper. The objective is to reach a technical point in which we can reproduce it. In fact, I’m going to use a scientific paper to talk a little more about it. It was a recent and interesting paper called about emotional writing where they state this:

“The idea is that rather than seeing articulations of emotion as detracting from authentic metacognitive knowledge production, such articulations of emotion can and should be seen as a critical part of the metacognitive process… …We are not claiming that emotion alone can give us a clear picture of the metacognitive process, but without accounting for emotion, we have an incomplete conception of how students understand not only their own writing processes but also themselves as writers…”¹

In the article they’re talking about objective papers, ones written for more professional research. But I’m going to argue it works just as well for video game writing as well. Media writing if we really want to talk about this. Again, “…without accounting for emotion, we have an incomplete conception of how students understand not only their own writing processes but also themselves as writers…” (emphasis added)

There is nothing more important to me in video game writing than realizing there is another being, with different emotions and complexities, experiencing the same thing I am playing. There is nothing more important to me in writing, than the individual people voicing their opinions. I’m not saying this in a “power to the people” kind of way. I’m saying this in “the people are the power of gaming” kind of way. That this is an empowerment of everyone in the community from the people who have friends who play games, all the way to the developers, and dare I say it, possibly even the corporate side. …Maybe.

Our individual aspects are what makes media so much more enjoyable. Video game blogs give us that in a readable, presentable form. (Except for my website, which is extremely plain and possibly not very presentable.)

The irony is that valid dislikes are what it is being human. How far is someone willing to go before technical game design is a problem? How far before it’s a feature not a bug? Or how far is it before it’s janky fun to “this is getting annoying?” I partially regret adding Mass Effect 3 to the ULTRA, because it had some serious bugs. But I kept it there. I’ve taken down games from the ULTRA for the same reason. Why? Why?! Because every one of my siblings is familiar with Mass Effect and their characters. Outside of the actual aspects of the game, the closeness I feel with the lore is different, because for once it’s something we all can talk about and relate to. I’ve grown close to the janky mess.

What characters or arcs evoke more of the player’s life into the experience? We can even say, what technical aspects of games evoke a player’s life into the experience? There’s a reason why A Hat in Time feels like a good old school platformer without actually being an old game.

How far is this going to stretch? I want to know, because it tells the story of what it is to be a gamer. I disagree with some of the things the bloggers write about. Almost every time, if they’re not writing objectively, they understand the complexity of disliking or liking a game I have opposite feelings for. We are all individual players, and that’s okay. I am grateful for the rapport and the kind of camaraderie of it all.

Objective reviews are read by people who have personal and emotional experiences. Spoken of before, but the comparing and contrasting with others helps to feel what we like and dislike. The benefit of knowing what the voices of the players think is what these personal blogs do best. You can get to know this person in a way you can compare your own interests with.

What better way to display all this in mini form than mixed Steam reviews. These people are almost always connected to the game in some emotional level for good or for bad. Mixed reviews on Steam are sneaky because a 50% doesn’t sound good, but in hindsight, that is half of the people who play it. That’s a lot. And furthermore, they’re usually much more emotionally charged. But 50%! That’s a you like it or you don’t, and think of how many things we attribute that to: movies, books, theme park rides, food, dancing. I’m not saying go play mediocre games, but remember that you are an emotive, real person that has real experiences. Therefore, what better way than to use these tools and help from other players to guide you in how you can best approach the world of gaming, whether that is living life as a gamer or finding a game that you like.

I sometimes stare at my blog. I’m annoyed because I find myself staring and wondering what to write about. But really it shouldn’t matter too much. Because the content is an emotional section just like any other writer. I admit I enjoy more this almost anthropological approach to writing about media than anything else.

I have barely any time to do all the nothing I want to do. But when I read other peoples blogs like WCRobinson, the previously mentioned Frostilyte, and Later Levels, I remember why I love to read about games. I remember why I love being a gamer. That’s huge.

Their individual personalities are like bright fires burning on a dark night. It is a refuge and reminder of how personal and human games can be.

Thanks for reading. Stay safe, and I’ll see you again.

– Elise

Scarantino, A. (2006). [Review of Thinking about Feeling: Contemporary Philosophers on Emotions; Emotion, Evolution, and Rationality, by R. C. Solomon, D. Evans, & P. Cruse]. Mind, 115(459), 812–820. http://www.jstor.org/stable/3840610

Comparison: The Meta Boss

January 24, 2023 Dryad3 Comments

The Toxic Wasteland

If you’ve read my blog …or whatever this is, you probably already know that I like to play single player games. I’m not a competitive person. Or…rather I should say, I hate comparing myself to other people. It always ends up being a bunch of self-deprecating madness. But…every time I am playing a game that has stats I open it up and check on it often. Why do I do that? Why is that so important? Am I insecure? What the world is going on and why, why does this have to be a thing? Today, I’m going to look into that. I’m Elise. This is Game Praisers Deep Dive.

——————————————–

Instagram is a deadly place. As an artist, it can be extremely inspiring. It can also be one of the absolute worst things to look at before heading into a new project. There have been many times where I just feel totally horrible after just having improved the night before, because I decided it would be a good idea to look at some “inspirational” pictures. That was not a good idea.

But, these pictures can inspire me. I know they can because they have. This is a competition. And you know what makes it harder? In games, it’s worse. In video games I can look at the scoreboard and say, “Wow, I am just bringing my whole team down.” If I look at the top player on my team, I don’t receive inspiration. I don’t look at an amazing kill-death ratio / KDR, or as I feel many games see it now, kill-death-assists / KDA and feel inspired. Maybe I can see inspiration when I watch professional games like ESL or Homestory Cup in Starcraft 2. Yeah, I can, but never can I look at the people I am directly competing against and feel inspiration. I have never, unless I personally know that player, ever gained some sort of encouragement by looking at another top player even if they’re on my side.

When we compare ourselves to others, it is usually us on the lower end of the comparison. We’re the ones who are insufficient.¹ And in the case of video games, it doesn’t matter if they’re on our side or not, these carriers are evidence that we are a weak link. And although it has happened before, you don’t hear a lot of encouragement from your teammates when you’re not doing well. Few competitive environments are more toxic than the video game ones. I once played a game against medium difficulty bots in League of Legends because I wanted to see a character’s animations without going to a blurry Youtube video. Someone was absolutely furious that someone else was in the same lane as them. They started feeding the enemy team and then half way through the match they left. This was a bot game. It wasn’t even on the hardest difficulty of bots. This is an example of the kind of people we deal with.

—————————————

But I never feel that in Guild Wars 2. When I see someone with amazing equipment I never think, “Gosh, I wish I was as diligent and focused as that player.” Maybe to a small extent, but never to an effect. Nowadays it would be more like I wish I had time, which is a whole different problem. There they are though, walking around with all their cool gear. Guild Wars 2 is a social game, and it’s been shown that spending time on social networking things tends to make people more depressed.² Except… there is a context we’re missing here. Guild Wars 2 does not place me in competition, especially concerning that most of it is PvE for me. Social networking does. By the nature of what I do, what I like, who I choose to hang out with, they all point towards things similar to me. So of course I’m going to end up with other artists on Instagram. Of course I will end up with other people who play games on Facebook until I purged it of every acquaintance and false friend. And of course there is the whole entirety of women, including women characters, that make me feel in competition with being attractive. I don’t think I need to tell you that it does not help.³ That’s the whole point. And when it comes down to performing well in the context of others… that’s the whole point of competitive gaming.

——————————————

It’s very difficult to pinpoint this because it’s such a specific social thing. There aren’t that many studies that directly correlate to this. I found a thesis on it, and while it has some nice insights, it’s just one study. The writers themselves have noted that it is possible, and needs looking into, that playing PvP/competitive games can detract from the positive social aspects of video games.⁴ Self-determination theory claims that humans need a feeling of competence, autonomy, and relatedness.⁵ These are underlying things that help increase self-esteem and more so, motivation. Random and unprompted positive feedback helps people feel competent and motivates them to work hard. Relatedness as well. Both things that are…lacking in the environment of competitive video gaming.

Personally, I believe that to combat this we need self control and self esteem. Self control to understand our needs concerning our games that we play. Don’t play a competitive game to blow off steam if you know it’s going to make you upset. Some people can play competitive games to calm down, but be sure that you are one of those people if you’re going to do it. Think about what games would best fit for however you’re feeling. My experience with video games has gotten a little better since I’ve tried to adjust myself to playing what would be best in the moment. Sometimes it’s just whatever I feel like. Gatekeeping myself from playing something else because I have to finish another game has almost always resulted in a less than optimal experience. Though admittedly it’s not super bad, it is sometimes significant which affects how I feel about a game. This is something I do not want just because I made myself more depressed or something.

Then there is self esteem, which is a difficult thing for me. I’m still working on this, and will likely be working on this my whole life. Learning to be okay where we are as we try to improve is a big thing. Sometimes it’s okay to not perform well some days. What is important is that we are willing and trying to improve. We can be happy with where we are now without compromising who we are trying to become. But…easier said than done, right?

—————————-

So why do players still seek it out? When Battlefield 2042 was released with a limited scoreboard people kept requesting and asking for a full scoreboard it until it finally was added, and it ended up being an announcement on many gaming sites.^{7, 8, 9, 10} And IGN’s subheader is literally a reference to what I’m talking about, saying, “Finally, proof my K/D ratio is trash.”¹¹While it is a joke, it is still frustrating to come back at the end of a long work day to play Valorant or something and then get frustrated not only because you feel like you’re letting down your team, but also because they’re yelling at you.

For me, the extent was that I sought out these games because it could fulfill that feeling of competency and possibly even camaraderie. It could, and when it did, it felt great. Of course it felt great when I turned to Battlefield V after a long day and I was one of the top players on my team. But these methods are reliant on volatile results and variables that may be outside our control. They depend on whether or not you win, which in a team game, is very dangerous. It could depend on either side’s attitude. It depends on your performance, and that alone could be dangerous. It could feel self-deprecating to see yourself not performing well. And that one is possibly even more dangerous, because it is applicable to single player games. And most importantly, it’s applicable to life. If how we feel about ourselves and whether or not we’re happy with ourselves is dependent on performances, it could be a dreadful life.

Comparison fulfills something in us, but it’s also something that is very easily out of our control. Sometimes we just don’t do well. Sometimes we make mistakes. That is life. This is not to say we shouldn’t try at all, or we shouldn’t be happy when we do well, but we cannot tie our intrinsic feeling of self worth because someone else performed well enough not only to destroy us on a bad day, but also teabag us after they did so.

Thanks for reading, stay safe, and I hope to see you again here at Game Praisers.

Elise

Citations:

Gerber, J. P., Wheeler, L., & Suls, J. (2018). A social comparison theory meta-analysis 60+ years on. Psychological Bulletin, 144(2), 177–197. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000127
Sunkyung Yoon, Mary Kleinman, Jessica Mertz, Michael Brannick, Is social network site usage related to depression? A meta-analysis of Facebook–depression relations, Journal of Affective Disorders, Volume 248, 2019, Pages 65-72, ISSN 0165-0327, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2019.01.026.(https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032718321700)
Jacqueline V. Hogue, Jennifer S. Mills, The effects of active social media engagement with peers on body image in young women, Body Image, Volume 28, 2019, Pages 1-5, ISSN 1740-1445, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2018.11.002.(https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S174014451730517X)
Zhao, F. (2022). The role of social video game play and relatedness in players’ well-being [Master’s thesis]. University of Oxford.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2017). Self-determination theory. Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness.
Vallerand, Robert & Reid, Greg. (1984). On the Causal Effects of Perceived Competence on Intrinsic Motivation: A Test of Cognitive Evaluation Theory. Journal of Sport Psychology. 6. 94-102. 10.1123/jsp.6.1.94.
https://www.polygon.com/22891186/battlefield-2042-scoreboard-patch-update
https://www.gamespot.com/articles/battlefield-2042-is-finally-adding-new-scoreboard-see-it-here/1100-6499759/
https://www.thegamer.com/battlefield-2042-scoreboard-update-live/
https://www.pcgamer.com/battlefield-2042-new-scoreboard/
https://www.ign.com/articles/battlefield-2042-update-scoreboard

The Apex of the Classroom

December 15, 2022December 15, 2022 Dryad1 Comment

“Just” a demo

In a high school classroom, there sits a bunch of students. This is a computer room. This is an idle time for some of the students who have finished early. Some of them start the 3D pinball game that used to be available on Windows back then. It’s normal. The teacher doesn’t care. But then one of them starts a game that is also already on the computer, and the teacher gets up to try and stop them.

It’s the demo for Halo: Combat Evolved.

One of the cool things about radical or restricted parts of society is how it evolves. Just like in evolutionary biology, isolated groups can result in very interesting cultures. We can think of how the Hardy-Weinberg Principle of population genetics being broken can affect the way cultures evolve and grow. I think one of the difficult things about that now is that games take place in the virtual internet and chats. Although it is far more difficult for this to happen, evolution in the folk tales of gamers can still happen. It’s just that in a more radical situation like a classroom, it evolves in a crazier way.

These days things can blow up really easily. We have social media and ease of access to thank for that. But in an isolated setting, even if temporary like a classroom, new cultures coming in have to adapt. The culture specifically being boredom in the classroom. We see isolated cultures have pretty big effects such as being in the military, being a monk in a monastery, or in a creepy cult that is practicing suspicious activities. Sometimes it’s just a matter of speech and slang, but other times it becomes weird actions and hideaways. That’s what Halo was.

You’d see people gathering at the computer rooms to play Halo during lunchtime. I don’t know what it’s like now, but back then most classrooms didn’t have computers in them. During that time the teachers really didn’t care, because they wanted to eat lunch. Some of them did, because the game exhibited violence. Remember this was the 2000s, people were more worried about that back then. But most of the time the teachers were okay and so there they were. Sometimes the teacher would play with them.

But here’s the thing, the people playing, they weren’t playing because they were gamers. No, they were playing because there were only a few other options worth going for. Minesweeper, which some people didn’t want to learn how to understand, and the 3D pinball game. So…the third option was Halo. Yes, I know there was solitaire, freecell, and some others, but only the teachers seemed to play those. Back then not everyone had phones, and the internet was being watched over so most websites like MySpace were blocked.

You want to know the best part? The teacher that came over to turn off the game then tried to find a way to remove it off the computer. Tried being the keyword. Computers were still a new concept to people, and they didn’t know how to get rid of it. And even if they could, it didn’t matter. The game was a demo, and demos are free. It would pop up again. It was unstoppable and insatiable. It was going to be there whether you liked it or not. In this case, games, uh, find a way.

I personally don’t feel like it was any harm. Most of the time the students playing were doing so at lunch or after they were done with their work. I just find it so interesting that they would eke out this existence every time. It was consistent. The computers of classrooms with unrelated subjects had the game on it. Every. Single. Time. Like in biology, it was selected for. The competition was removed. Other games have tried popping up to no avail. Finding workarounds to visit flash game websites were uncommon, although I did find a way to do that. It was just this silly demo of a sci-fi game that was strong and able enough to stay the course.

I think a lot of the evolution in the folklore of video games is usually pretty negative. I attribute this to the fact that most video game stuff that goes to mainstream news are the ones that involve the outliers and scary people that do horrible things concerning video games. Either that or video games cause violence…again. But little bits like this Halo or people donating money for someone to get a stranger a new gaming computer. I see no rules being broken, just people trying to have some fun. Stories of the few or the generous, that is like sweet, delicious honey to my soul.

I hope that the holidays are treating you well, and that we can remember how grateful we are to even be able to play the things we can now. Thanks video games, and thank you to all of you who read this who are like that sweet honey, bringing joy through video games.

Thanks for reading. I’ll see you next time.

Elise

Sold in Translation

November 28, 2022 Dryad1 Comment

The one-inch-tall barrier

Warning: Once again, I am talking about colonialism. If you don’t like that, there’s a TLDR at the bottom, and while I do apologize for the continued use of the topic, I do not apologize for talking about it itself.

I’m a subs kind of gal. And before you stop me there, I should let you know that my position once again involves colonialism. So, are you willing to go against me now? The reasons that I have are good. So good in fact, that it may surprise you that for the same reasons, ultimately for the sake of media itself, I’m wrong. It’s a sad, blurred line.

This is Elise and this is Game Praisers Deep Dive, where I take a researched and thought out look at topics that I feel are more difficult or interesting that require more than just a glance. I hope that we all learn something from this, and while I don’t think my perspective is perfect, I think it should be considered.

I don’t know if you were here when Parasite by Bong Joon-Ho came out in 2019 and 2020, but it is a phenomenal film. Kind of horror, more thriller-ish style of film. I don’t want to say anything without spoiling it. In fact, I recommend watching it without knowing very much. It is rated R by the MPAA though, just in case you have kiddos around.

My point is that it is a Korean film that won an incredible amount of awards and was recognized by the audiences in the United States. So of course a foreign film that catches the attention is going to bring up that subs and dubs war. I always believe the original version is the best intended for something like consumable media. And so here I’m going to say, watch it in subs. As the director said himself, “Once you overcome the one-inch-tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films.”¹I think that’s very true. Especially when it comes to acting, I think the cadence and movement of people are very important as to keeping the original feeling.

However, I don’t like when people say subs are all superior, especially if it’s for the sake of keeping Japan-ness in things. I know we were just talking about a Korean film but in all honesty the media of anime and video games usually concerns Japan. I don’t want people saying “subs” to gatekeep. That’s not the point. It’s to preserve the cultural aspect of what it is. Which is why I also argue the point of dubs.

For people who can, subs are great. But one cannot say that everyone can keep up with subtitles while watching something. Some people struggle with things like dyslexia. Some people are still learning to read English or whatever language they use. For the people who are trying their best but at the moment can’t read, should have dubs. The voice actors work very hard to try and be the characters as best as they can. I trust them in their professionalism to do that. So ultimately, yes, dubs are fine. But if you can, I truly desire that you watch in subs.

This great success didn’t come with an amount of sacrifice though. Success does not mean decolonization. In fact, it could mean the opposite. I mean, it’s great that things from Japan are so popular and mainstream now. I can say that I like anime without people cringing at me now. And yet…I can’t tell if it’s better. I feel like there is a lot of moral licensing going around. Once again, I’m going to outright say that it’s very possible that it just so happens to be in my gaming spheres. So forgive me if this is just a bad coincidence.

Moral licensing is kind of like tokenism. The idea that because we accepted something about this foreign culture, we can now be lenient towards it afterwards. It means we’re allowed to be a little more racist because we’ve accepted anime. Obviously that is not the way, but I still see it in clubs and groups today. Accepting culture is more than just saying you watched anime. It’s more than just saying “baka”. You can’t turn around and start making fun of Japanese food methods or traditional cultural beliefs just because you “know more” about Japan now / watch anime. It just doesn’t work that way.

In Carlson and Corliss’ article about video game localization they start off talking about someone wanting to “be” Japanese. It is completely fine to want to integrate yourself into a different community, especially if you come to an understanding of the cultural implications. Not necessarily an acceptance, but an understanding. But “being” Japanese isn’t just about consuming the culture either. It’s all the negatives and racism that comes with it. It’s the baggage of the bad things your culture has done as well. If you’re taking only the good things to be “foreign”, that’s colonialism. Sometimes it’s literally that exoticism that attracts people though.²

Do you know what we did as Asians in the nineties in the USA? A lot of us fought back at learning our own languages. Especially those who were born in the United States and are not off the boat. And a lot of us regret not learning our own languages now, because now it’s a nice attribute. We colonized ourselves to try and fit in. And now in a weird turnabout way, it’s kind of happening again, but in exoticism. There are entire videos on Youtube dedicated to this.³And I agree, it’s not entirely the people’s fault. It’s us trying to fit in again as well.

All this. All this to bring me to the point as to why I’m wrong about subs, and why people would rather things get lost in translation. I want subs because I want foreignization. Foreignization is when things are purposely left in their cultural meaning to try and maintain what it was before.⁴ I want people to have to make an effort to be familiar and understanding to consume these things, not as gatekeeping, but as encouragement. I said effort, not qualification.

Foreignization is most commonly seen as transliteration in names. An example is in Genshin, where some names are left as is: Xiangling, Liyue, Tatarasuna. But games aren’t about making you learn new cultures. I’m sorry. That’s the truth. Games are localized, and sometimes that’s a very good thing. Bear with me here. I always have a teddy bear or plush nearby. But that phrase grouping would not have worked in another language, right? Puns and wordplay just don’t work. One of my favorite examples is in Genshin where Hu Tao’s ultimate is a phrase of “吃飽喝飽，一路走好！”, which is like “Eat well, drink well, journey well.” But the cadence, rhythm, and wording is extremely difficult to combine in English, so in English she says, “Time to go!” A lot of Hu Tao’s playfulness is lost in translation. Although not the best used here, most people would use transcreation to maintain that feeling.

Transcreation is when new content is created in order to try and maintain the character, while localizing it so it still makes sense. “In game localisation, the feeling of the original ‘gameplay experience’ needs to be preserved in the localised version so that all players share the same enjoyment regardless of their language of choice.”⁵ Sometimes that kind of content is needed. It’s ultimately too complicated to leave content foreign. People buy games to play the content to be enjoyed in the language they want.

Oh yeah. I forgot.

People buy games to play content.

Because in the end. This is about consumerism. Localization isn’t just here to maintain the experience, it’s to sell the game to their targeted language audience. Unless the game is about teaching you about understanding cultural context or something, that’s not the point. This is why no matter how much I would like people to watch Parasite in Korean, ultimately, as a movie people are there to watch a movie. They’re not here to learn about the nuances of Korean speech.

I’m wrong because I want people to use these pieces of media as a springboard to guide them to new cultures and understandings. And that’s just not what people do unless they already had that inclination to begin with. There are developers who want cultural understanding and considerations of perspective, but if it’s not a fun enough game the only people who buy the game are the ones who already wanted understanding. They’re preaching to the choir.

Can we change minds? We can. But we can only change minds by changing ideas of what is already being ignored. Genshin’s presentation of Chinese opera was well received, but I don’t know if it changed any minds. It brought to light a new style of opera that many people didn’t know about. It simply didn’t exist yet, but that won’t change the minds of people who will act ethnocentric. It won’t change people from recognizing privilege. It just removes ignorance.

Interest for the sake of understanding is just not a good selling point. And that’s why all of this doesn’t feel like it has changed as much as I’d have hoped. People understand things and references more, but I feel like these are things thrown at the process of acceptance or denial for a person’s opinions. It’s not something to make them question whether or not they’re acting with privilege.

Globalization of products has changed things, but it’s not fast enough. I met with someone making their own anime now. They’re not Japanese, and that’s fine, but they’re also the same person that has some pretty negative, and I dare say colonialist, viewpoints of Japan, which is not fine. In fact…that’s colonialism. They took something from another country, made it theirs, and do not respect the origins of it.

And…it almost doesn’t feel wrong, because the point of it is to sell products. It’s to sell media. I think I may have been using energy on this tide that pushes me back and sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. Some people in the gaming group are saying this is just the way it is. They’re all white people from the United States. Am I just trying to be a justice warrior? Should I ignore it all? It’s all about selling, so why should I care?

…I feel like I keep standing on this soapbox and I’m sure most people tire of this, which makes sense. Elise, why can’t you stop talking about this? Why do you always bring this up? Because every single day I have to deal with it, so it’s rather difficult to not have it on my mind.

…maybe this whole Deep Dive stuff is just me ranting. Ugh, I apologize. I really do want people to see the nuances that are more than just senpai and memes. I just want people to see that cultures are more than just memes and jokes. Maybe that’s what I should’ve just said. Hold on.

TLDR: I just want people to see that cultures are more than just memes and jokes.

Or maybe I just need new communities to talk to about games. Too bad my communities are anonymous discord people.

Thanks for reading, and I PROMISE the next deep dive will not be about racism, colonialism, or ethnocentrism.⁶ It’ll just be about media.

Elise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX3obZ0lXoU
Carlson, R., & Corliss, J. (2011). Imagined Commodities: Video Game Localization and Mythologies of Cultural Difference. Games and Culture, 6(1), 61–82. https://doi.org/10.1177/1555412010377322
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNkZIJkXI6g
Cai, Mengge. (2022). Translation of Culture-loaded Words and Cross-cultural Communication from the Perspective of Domestic Games. SHS Web of Conferences. 148. 10.1051/shsconf/202214801025.
Mangiron, Carme & O’Hagan, Minako. (2006). Game Localisation: Unleashing Imagination with ‘Restricted’ Translation. JOURNAL OF SPECIALISED TRANSLATION. 6.
Unless you want that.

More Complicated Than I Could Imagine

November 7, 2022November 7, 2022 Dryad2 Comments

It’s all coming together.

Spoilers for: Genshin Impact, moderate, late game.

I think I finally figured it out. My approach to video games. “Oh no, Elise, not this again.” Stop, wait! For real this time! I think I got it. This is going to be a long post, because it’s…well, more complicated than I could imagine.

I want to mention something about the beginning of this journey that I’ve been on in video games. Even previously through all of that I could not pinpoint exactly what I meant by all that I said. I’ve talked about games that I played often, and I’ve talked about some of the political aspects of video games that affected me.

In a terrible, incorrect, and biased way, I originally thought this was a difference in East vs West mindsets. But that’s obviously not true. And let’s be honest, that’s a pretty racist way of me to think. It was wrong. However, it was not true in an unfortunate way. The people that I interacted with that had stronger backgrounds from East Asia still had conflicts with the way I view video games. Conflicts that drove me away. More importantly, it’s about the way I approach them and how I can interact with other video gamers. When a perspective you have comes in conflict with the way that you can interact with the general community, do you still feel like a part of it?

I then thought, it’s the spoilers. It is me not wanting any spoilers. Studies do show that spoilers don’t really ruin it for most people.¹ For most people. I am, whether for good or not, one of those people. It does however, matter where the spoilers are placed. If they’re in the actual story itself apparently that really does affect it. But if presented in advance, yeah it doesn’t matter for the majority of people.²

I hate spoilers. I saw The Lord of the Rings movies last year in January. But, man, if it wasn’t shrouded by the memes of today, I think it would’ve been even more epic. Instead, there were some parts that were funny. I don’t think it detracted from the experience of enjoyment. I do like a good laugh, but something about it always stings looking back. Maybe it’s…a feeling of missing out? Missing out on a feeling I will never have the opportunity for again.

The thing about the feeling of missing out is the time we have to spend on catching up. We’ve all played that game before whether it’s because of Netflix, a February in gaming, or an influx of new content from a convention’s announcements. We have to catch up with the neighbor who has that new, cool blender. If they have that blender it’s not going to change your experience. In fact, when you watch them use that blender, you know for a fact your experience will be just as awesome and just as smoothie. …I’m so sorry.

But catching up in media and entertainment is different than catching up to your neighbor’s appliances. If you watch someone else watch a movie, assuming we’re not looking at the screen, that’s not the same thing as watching the movie itself. Watching someone play through a game is more accurate to the blender theory, because you and the player are experiencing the game firsthand. It’s like watching a movie with them. But having someone tell you the experience is telling the game, film, or book in a way unintended by the creators. I’m not here to watch the rugby game outside the stadium. I’m here to watch the rugby game.

And that can be argued against as well. But the point is from my perspective, it ruins it. I want the original of what the creators intended or published. And in the end that doesn’t even matter. Why? Because that’s not the problem with my perspective. That isn’t it. Although it is a bit because I feel like a nuisance when people can’t talk about what they want around me if they don’t want to spoil it. Ultimately I don’t think that is what makes it so hard for me to get along with the video gaming community. Obviously I appreciate when people spoiler tag things, because it means they’re being considerate, but there’s something one step further that I feel like I finally identified as the biggest chasm that separates me from the rest of the others. It feels like I’m saying, “I’m not like other girls”. I’m so sorry about that, but don’t worry just because I’m separated doesn’t mean I’m better or anything.

I can’t be upset at characters. At least not in the way I see other gamers do. The characters are real people. I’m not asking people to think that way. That’s ridiculous. Some people find me treating them like real people ridiculous, and in some ways I feel like their perspective is justified. But I don’t know what these characters are going through behind the scenes. Literally, behind the cinema scenes. I can’t be upset because Ayaka wore socks in Genshin Impact while she was standing in the stream in that one scene. That means developers, real humans, would have to take more time changing the models. Time that, if spent on something like that even if they wanted to, could be an inefficiency mark for them. It might make them look like they’re not doing what they’re supposed to be doing. It really depends on how loose the art director is. It also depends on what Ayaka was thinking at the time. Was it spontaneous? Was she too nervous to think about it?

If you look on YouTube you’ll find that a lot of people seem appreciative of the dance. Even if this is a comment that is going to be plastered on the internet for however long, there are a lot of them. But I’ve never run into someone who feels like this for most games. In fact, I’ve never run into one in my Genshin community. I get told that these people exist, and yeah, I see them right here on YouTube, but in every video game group that I join I feel none of that for different games.

Whenever I bring up that scene to the other Genshin players in my group, their first thing to bring up is making fun of her socks because she was wearing them while standing in the water. But in the context of the story, I think it’s so graceful, genuine, and peaceful. The dance, I mean. The dance that she does for you. The dance that she is apprehensive to show anyone else, but she shows it to you. I don’t think I can look back on the experience and think, “Ha, she’s wearing socks in the water.” I always think, “I am so grateful that she was willing to share that with me.” Too cheesy? But that’s just the thing. Why does it sound like they have to make an excuse to recognize that part of the story? “Oh yeah, I guess so.” “But I mean…” “Why didn’t they just…” It goes on.

I don’t know. I’m also not Ayaka. Maybe one day the developers will update it so she takes off her socks one day. I don’t know. I’m not the developers. I do know that in the culmination of all things technical from the developers, and all things ethereal, spiritual, and fantastical even, from Ayaka, I am grateful for that heartfelt moment she gave.

And that’s where the difference lies.

When people approach and consume media, it’s a service. I pay you, you entertain me. But for me, I’m here to learn to respect this new world. I’m not here as a VIP to be served, I’m here as a sociologist to learn what I can to understand. This approach is the same I have for everyone in real life. In cultures, societies, families, I am the visitor. I am the guest. I don’t touch things I shouldn’t touch. I don’t do things I shouldn’t do. Sometimes my beliefs may conflict, but in the context of things, I need to be willing to take a step back and realize, this is a different world. And mayhap you think it silly, but it’s the same for video games.

So yeah, I do feel bad if you think someone in a game is stupid, because to me, they’re someone that’s real. If a concept of lore is dumb, well, guess what? Those characters have to live in that world. And if you’re paying for the game as service, that game has failed you. And it makes sense. If you’re playing specific characters just for the numbers to be bigger than anyone else’s, great. If the reward isn’t good enough you’re not going to aid the village? Elise, they’re not real.

Sorry, and in most people’s eyes, yes. You’re totally, totally right. The people in the pixels on my screen are not going to come to my aid when I am being mugged or I am in financial need. My therapist says my approach is just that I’m being extremely considerate. But does that make everyone else’s approach inconsiderate?

I don’t think so.

Sometimes respect isn’t a single road. Sometimes it is. And in this case I’m willing to bet that there is more than one road, I’m just not driving on it. But when one version is wielded as a way to look down on another, that’s when it is a problem, not the perspective itself. That’s another big mistake in thought I made. It’s not that other people with this technical or service based mindset are bad. They’re not. It’s when it is wielded against me that is the problem. I am constantly feeling shut down in the communities because I feel they talk harshly about other people, and by people I mean the characters in a game. But they don’t notice that. It’s silly for me to think that.

It’s not that these people are rude. At least I’m going to assume they’re not, unless the reason they don’t like a character is for something severe like racism. It’s that the boundaries of this bubble of respect that I’ve created have become so inflated that in order to accept this perspective, that boundary is going to be rubbed the wrong way. And the spoiler thing just feels like an echo of this that exacerbates that.

The problem with taking perspectives like these is that there are sacrifices to be made. And even those sacrifices can be seen as problematic to those around you. They think it facetious, stupid, or pretentious for taking it this far. And in most cases I don’t blame them.

People in the gaming community that I’m in are not rude. They’re not wrong. They’re not inconsiderate or disrespectful. It’s just that they have a different view of things, and with the sacrifices I’ve made to have the perspective that I feel best provides the fun and appreciation for games, I have to accept that this is the result of that. They’re going to be breaking those boundaries, and usually it’s not their fault, it’s mine, because I actually want this.

I sincerely am grateful if you’ve actually read all of this. It’s very likely that our perspectives on this differ. Don’t make yourself feel bad if it’s not the same as mine. Or don’t make me feel bad because of mine, trust me, I’ve gotten that my whole life. I just want people to be introspective and realize that, excluding dangerous or inappropriate extremes that can harm other people, your perspective of video gaming is likely not wrong. It just is, there are aspects of it that are very likely joyous to you, and sometimes it exists because of things within the realms of what is more complicated than we can imagine.

And that’s okay. We’ll figure it out.

Thanks for reading. I’ll see you next time.

Elise

Spooky Time

October 5, 2022 DryadLeave a comment

It’s spooky time.

That means the Mad King in Guild Wars 2.
That means Geheimnisnacht in Vermintide 2.
It means pumpkins in Deep Rock Galactic.
It means all the games that I have played that have Halloween in them have Halloween.
All the ones that haven’t, may have them now.
All the ones that I haven’t yet played, could be having them now.
Trying to make me have FOMO.

This means I’ll be trying to play through horror games even though I’m not good at dealing with them.
The plan is the last expansion in Control, since I never finished that.
Prey from Arkane as well, since I love the Dishonored series so much.
And if I have time, Resident Evil 5, Little Nightmares, and The Evil Within.

I don’t think I’m going to get to those last two. Just not enough time.
Bigger, busier drawing projects.

But it’s spooky time so I hope that you enjoy spooky media this month.
Be safe, and enjoy the spirits with me, both the drinks and otherwise.
– Elise

I don’t drink.

Backstories of Loved Ones

September 28, 2022 Dryad2 Comments

To know the past and keep the future

I keep getting spread so thin on all the things I could possibly do. I’ve been spending more time with my family as well, because the older I get the more I realize that time with them is precious. But something else hit me when I was playing Genshin Impact that made me realize that spending time with them is great, but there’s something else that I lacked that I desperately needed.

It’s something I’ve been thinking about since the article I wrote that included Final Fantasy VIII not too long ago, but it really hit me when I was playing Genshin. In Genshin if you play with characters doing daily quests, little grindy things called domains, and a few other things you can increase your friendship with them. Increasing your friendship allows you to learn more of their backstory. I’ve been so busy and mentally tired lately that although I really wanted to learn more about Collei’s backstory that I had unlocked, I didn’t bother to read it yet.

I was using her in a boss battle and she died, and for some reason I freaked out and I immediately paused the game and went to read her backstory, as if I could lose my chance to do so. You can easily revive characters through food or statues of the gods strewn throughout the map, but I frantically went and read all of her backstory in one fell swoop. It got me thinking a lot about my parents.

My parents are older than the average parents in between generations. And even though I’ve spent and have been spending more time with them, I’m beginning to realize that I don’t know much about their actual childhood and their backstories. I know them now, and what they act like, and what they like to do, but I don’t know anything about their earlier life. They never talk about it, and they’re very typically conservative Asians. They just don’t say anything about it. I know a handful of stories for both parents, and by handful I mean like…three at most, each.

The more I think about it, the more I really want to preserve those stories. They’re things that are unique and important and I just have neglected that. Spending time with them isn’t enough for me and now I want to know more. If I was so scared of losing the opportunity to get to know a friend that is a character in a game, how much more fearful and defeated would I feel if it were someone as close as my parents? Unfortunately, I won’t be able to contact them easily until later in the year, but when they return I will definitely spend the time to hear and record their stories. I will push them to tell me, since I know that they would resist saying it’s not important or there is nothing significant, which is very typical of them. As long as I’m not crossing any boundaries, I want to hear their stories.

It’s good, but also worrisome, that it took a character’s life to help me realize that there is more I want out of my family relations, and perhaps even friends as well. Collei will be alright, but what about my loved ones? I’ll make sure to love my family, friends, and characters as much as I can, and to make sure I get to know them all better.

Thanks for reading, and I hope that you spend time with your loved ones and get to really know them, because we don’t know how long we have with them.

Elise